PSA for Everyone who Beats their Meat in Starbucks

Business Insider:

After years of pressure, Starbucks says it has found a way to prevent customers from watching porn in its stores. Next year, the coffee giant plans to introduce a new tool meant to prevent customers from viewing pornography or other explicit content in stores. While watching pornography is banned at Starbucks locations, the chain does not have content blockers on its Wi-Fi service.

You heard that correctly folks. Starting in 2019, world renowned publications such as Porn Hub, Brazzers, and Chat Roulette will no longer be assessable in our local Starbucks. Numerous customers who didn’t order a Triple Venti Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato with a side of Lana Rhoades and Adriana Chechik have apparently been complaining for years. These individuals want to enjoy their Starbucks experience by reading the latest edition of Cosmopolitan, without hearing “Fuck this pussy, fuck it!” So selfish!

This is how fascism grows. By censoring the media. Telling us what media we’re allowed to consume while blockading publicly available sites that our country loves and adores. Not even Hitler or Mussolini would have prevented their people from accessing certain sites. Hitler would want every German to jerk that Nazi dick in the local coffee house. It’s a shame that Starbucks has succumbed to this.

Just something to think about.

The man on the left represents Starbucks with Porn Hub. The man on the right represents Starbucks without it. Sad.

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 2.22.04 PM

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